Losing Friendships

After the death of a loved one you find out who are your friends and who are not. Sometimes this happens right away, and sometimes it takes a few months, even a year and more, but it happens. I know because it happened to me.

I do want to say that I value, appreciate, and love my dear friends who have been at my side. They are the old friends who knew and loved Paul, and the new ones who never had the chance to meet him. You know who you are.

To those that could not wait for me to "get better" or chose not to stay by my side, we could not have lost a friendship because there wasn't one to lose. This next verse is for you.

No Greater Pain

I know you mean well but you don't understand
There are no words to explain .......
Although on the surface I may appear fine,
Remember, I buried a child of mine
And there is no greater pain.

Grief is a taboo in our civilized world,
I despise this hideous game.
I must smile while going insane.
For God's sake, a part of me died,
You can't imagine how often I've cried
And there is no greater pain.

If I look well or laugh when you joke,
You think I'm my old self again
I'm raw inside, a shell of me,
The woman you knew can no longer be ...
And there is no greater pain.

Look deep in my eyes, acknowledge my loss
As my heart beats its hollow refrain.
I'm caught in a web of infinite whys
I'll mourn, for my son 'till the rest of me dies
And there is no greater pain.