Looking for answers

I mentioned that I was looking for answers on Paul's care by his doctor. I tried to get Paul's medical records and couldn't without going to a lawyer. In fact, I did see one and he passed me on to some other lawyer. It was too much for me to deal with alone so I simply gave up. One, because I was afraid of what I'd find out, and two, even if I possibly had recourse, nothing would bring my son back to me.

I later found out that it is not uncommon not to check for heart disease, if there are no symptoms. If Paul had them he did not share it with me or his friends.

I was disturbed to find out that Paul told his best friend, Jeff Klotz, that Paul felt that he would be lucky if he made to be 35. I don't know why Paul would say that, if it was a premonition or he knew something that he chose not to share. I will never know.