I really got sidetracked since last April with entries from Compassionate Friends and other verses. My hope, for anyone that might read this, is to know that they are not alone.
Going back into my blog in April, I wrote how I was looking for answers on Paul's death, coming to terms that there was nothing "wrong" with me, and of lost friends. I do want to add a little about the "friends" and that is "you can't truly lose what you never had".
In September of 2000 my sister Rose, devoting herself to keeping me busy, thought it would be fun for us to meet halfway in Arcola, Illinois and go antiquing and check out specialty shops. We also stayed overnight in a B&B, such a treat.The day before I had a medical test done and she constantly showed her concern, asking me if I was feeling ok! We had a great time, she helped me to get back on the road of living again.
On the one year anniversary date of Paul's death I was unable to go to the cemetery. I came home from the hospital after having a hysterectomy on that very day. I felt so bad that I could not go, but in retrospect, perhaps it was the best. Later I came to realize, especially after moving away, that going to the cemetery in the fall or on the anniversary date is so very hard. It brings me back to 1999 when it all happened. Being at the cemetery, looking at his grave and headstone, hearing the leaves fall, the sky being so gray, and the feeling of being so cold. They were stark reminders that he was truly gone.
Rose came down from Chicago to take care of me while recuperating from surgery. She cooked, cleaned, we drove to town, and we watched a ton of movies. We rented every movie we missed, and watched good ones over again. She stayed for one week and made my healing easier. Yes, healing, both my body and my mind.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment