In Memory of Jill

Remembered Joy

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!
I follow the plan God laid for me.
I saw His face, I heard His call,
I took His hand and left it all...
I could not stay another day,
To love, to laugh, to work or play;
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
And if my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss...
Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
My life's been full, I've savoured much:
Good times, good friends, a loved-one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief—
Don't shorten yours with undue grief.
Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,
Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.

The New Year

A new year brings time to reflect
on the children we love,
those who remain with us
and those for whom we grieve ~

Wayne Loder

Be Comforted

My child, show tears over a

dead person

and intone the lament to show

your own deep grief;

bury the body with due

ceremonial,

and do not neglect to honor

the grave . . .

And then be comforted in your

sorrow;

for grief can lead to death,

a grief-stricken heart

undermines your strength.

Let grief end with the funeral;

a life of grief oppresses the

mind.

(Ecclesiasticus 38:16-20).

Sadly, this is easier said than done.

~~~karen

Thanks to the Troops

God Bless America and our Troops

In Memory of Paul .... Laid to Rest 10/31/1999

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

It is nine years today

I wonder if Paul liked this song! I'm sure he would have agreed with the lyrics!
Thinking of you honey, today and everyday.

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best

Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best

Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Go to the place that's the best

Quote of the Month from TCF

In this universe nothing is ever wholly lost. That which is excellent remains forever a part of this universe. Human hearts are dust. But the love which moves the human heart, abides to bless the last

generation.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Wish for Jeff & me

Next month I am going to take my yearly trip downstate to visit Paul's grave. For the first time in 7 years Jeff will be traveling with me. Because of his crazy work schedule he has not been able to make the trip, but he is determined to go this year. It seems to me that Jeff has been experiencing Paul's death harder now and in the last couple of years. Jeff said that on Paul's birthday this year he kept "seeing" Paul, the visions ranged from when Paul was young to July of 1999, when they got to spend some time together and it was to be, the last time he saw his brother alive.

So my wish and it has been since I moved from downstate is to have Paul brought back here so that we can "visit" him more often. I know there are some people who cannot bring themselves to go to the cemetery, but not us. Since I was a little girl my parents would go to the graves of their loved ones and tend to the graves and pay their love and respect. I did the same with my sons, bringing them to where my parents and grandparents are laid to rest.

Sometimes I play the lottery in hopes to win just enough so I can bring Paul back home, but the odds of that are pretty slim. One day Paul will come back here, but I think that will happen after my death. Jeff told me that with monies he receives, with my insurance policies and whatever else I may have, he is going to bring Paul back home. I truly hope we don't have to wait til then!! Right now I am able to drive the 6 hours it takes to get there, but as I get older that will change.

I don't know how my writing my wish will do any good, but this blog enables me to put down all my thoughts!!

Another Quote from TCF

It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it’s never gone.

- Rose Kennedy


Who knows more about tragedy than Rose Kennedy,
sadly her words are so very true.

A Special Day

It has been eight years since this day was celebrated. It has been remembered, it has been bittersweet, it has been a day filled with tears. Today is the remembrance of the joy I felt 40 years ago. The day Paul was born and filled my heart with a joy and love that was only repeated when Jeff was born.

Later today I will send Paul a message in a balloon. I will go about the rest of my day doing the chores and the things I need to do, but with Paul on my mind and in my heart as always.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!!

I love you and miss you with all my heart.

MY WISH

This is my wish for you:
comfort on difficult days,
smiles when sadness intrudes,
rainbows to follow the clouds,
laughter to kiss your lips,
hugs when spirits sag,
sunsets to warm your heart,
friendships to brighten your being,
beauty for your eyes to see,
faith so that you can believe,
confidence for when you doubt,
patience to accept the truth,
courage to know yourself,
love to complete your life.

~~~~~~~Anonymous

Never far from my thoughts!

Paul and Jill, I miss you both and love you with all my heart.

From The Compassionate Friends Newsletter

At times our own light goes out

and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schweitzer

I read this quote today and would like to share

My Feet will want to march to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living.


– Anthony Minghella, from Truly, Madly, Deeply

Remembering Jack

On January 23rd my sister's husband, Jack passed away. My heart goes out to her, his daughters, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and other family members. Jack had many close friends and loyal employees. He was truly a good person in every sense of the word. Good to family, friends and strangers. He is loved by many and will be missed. Here's to you Jack!


"I knew I'd look back at the tears and laugh, but I never knew I'd look back at the laughter and cry"
~~~Author Unknown

Quote of The Month From Compassionate Friends

I read this quote and nodded yes, this is how I feel. I am thankful to Wayne Loder for his few words that summarize how I feel. It is eight years now since Paul died, and I am a survivor. Sadly my sister's journey has just begun, as it is only nine months since Jill passed away. My sister will survive too. We miss and love our children with all our hearts.

The passage of time alone does not cause our grief to end,

but its softening touch helps us to survive ~

Wayne Loder

I don't consider myself religious but ....

I was touched at the funeral mass for my niece Jill. The prayers for the faithful, which was put together by Suzy was beautiful. The prayer card for Jill, with The Madonna holding her child, and the prayer itself, seemed like it was made for Jill. Perhaps one day I will post it. In the meantime, for the first time since Paul died, I found comfort in religion, which brings me to the reason for this post.

Our family celebrated Thanksgiving at Rose and Jack's home in Indiana. On the route to their home, you go past a church. The sign or message by the church had a verse from the Beatitudes. It was such a coincidence that not only was our family celebrating Thanksgiving and Rosie's birthday it was Jill's birthday the day before. I saw a connection for all of us in the verse from Matthew 5:4:

Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Today is Paul's Birthday ...

... and although I kept myself busy, my thoughts would drift back to him and his life. I had wanted to post this paragraph before and today is a good day for it, it is from the program for the Mass of Resurrection for Jill. May Jill and Paul rest in peace and our families memory of them will forever be in our hearts.

A Family is .....

A family is a deeply rooted tree with branches of different strengths, all receiving nourishment from an infinite source. Family is where character is formed, values are learned, ethics are created, and society is preserved. Family is where all members, contribute and share, cooperate and work, and accept their responsibilities toward the group. Family is where the holidays are celebrated with feasting, birthdays acknowledged with gifts, and thoughts of days gone by are kept alive with fond remembrances. Family is where each can find solace and comfort in grief, pleasure and laughter in joy, and kindness and encouragement in daily living. Family is a haven of rest, a sanctuary of peace, and most of all, a harbor of love.

Happy Birthday Paul, I love you and miss you with all my heart.
Mom

A QUOTE FROM TCF

Quote of the Month

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.

Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart.

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

Let me hold you while I may, for it will not always be so.

One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow,

or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky,

and want more than all the world for your return.

by Mary Jean Irion

Remember Me

Remember Me:

To the living I am gone
To the sorrowful, I will never return
To the angry, I was cheated
But to the happy, I am at peace
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at the beautiful sea
Remember me.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty
Remember me.
As you look upon a flower and admire it's simplicity
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts
and your memories of the times we loved,
the times we cried, the times we fought,
the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will have never gone.....


This poem,
is in Memory Of My Niece,
Jill


This poem is for my sister Rose who
sent it to me for comfort.
Life has dealt us both such sadness and heartache.